Could you tell I was afraid?

I'm an animal, you're an animal too.

ME AND THE DEVIL

If it's meant to happen, it will happen.

Don't think I'll ever forget the night you told me loved me. You told me you never remembered it, but you knew what you were saying. That's just how you are.

Still trying to figure you out.

I always want what I can't have. But I'm so grateful that I was blessed with this new pup. She's been doing me so much good, keeping me safe, giving me her love, and being my best friend. However, I haven't yet forgotten Moose. I never will. I know he's still watching me from wherever he is, and making sure Tink is keeping me alive.

There's something inside of you that you never let me see. And it kills because that is all I want. For you to let me in. I never asked for him to come back to me, I didn't want him too. All I want is you. The curiosity is killing this cat, Tiger. Come back.

My mother thinks you're trying to get back together with me. #sodoeseveryoneelse But nobody never asks about what I want, and it isn't that.

Song of the Summer [So Far].

Man, Shania Twain is the shit.



Aaand this could easily be my favorite thing I've seen all summer. Billy Currington <3 Hahah

Also, who directs country music videos? They're terrible. Let me do it!

I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on you. You were wearing a blue plaid button down shirt with a pair of cutoff jean shorts. He introduced me to you, and you just waved and smiled. I couldn't stop staring. And I just thought, "Well, what does a girl have to do to get me a man like that?" I secretly hoped that every time I would go into to visit him, you'd be there. And for a while, you weren't. I forgot about you. Then a few days after he broke up with me, I went into that damned shop again. You were wearing that blue plaid shirt again too. And like that first time, you just waved and smiled, but shaking your head a little bit as if you knew I would be there. Then I thought to myself, "Who the hell does this faggot think he is? I ought to slap that stupid smile right off his face right here and now."

My god, how I love those eyes. And oh how I wish I didn't.

Got stuck at the stop light in front of your work today. I gave two angry middle fingers. Took a lot for me to not get out of the car and piss in front of the shop entrance. Janina was also with me. She said she saw you the other day. Weird. It's okay though, because I won't be lonely long. You know who loves Filipino women? Military men. And Spanish men. Oh, and guess who loves Filipino women the most? Black men.

Ugh.

I don't want to feel like the world is out to get me, but I really can't help it. You just up'd and left me. Like he did. I can't help but think you guys were talking about this all along behind my back and still just won't let me know for your own stupid purposes. The worst part is, I have no idea why I'm feeling this way about HIM. We talked for a mere couple weeks, but that was seriously the happiest I've been in a while. When he touched me, he meant it. Or at least it felt as if he did. I still can't help but think I'm the spawn of Satan, put on this world just to test peoples loyalties and bring them down with me whenever I can. I prayed and prayed for Evan and I to work out because he was everything I could have wanted in a man right down to the T. At least I had him when I had him. It still sucks though. This so-called vacation is now turning lonely, which is the exact reason why I didn't want to be here in the first place. Ugh..two more months and then I get to see my sister, my father, and my beloved San Diego.

Should really take Pablo up on that ticket to Florida. I've been here for 4 days and I already want to leave. Surprise, surprise.

Everyone here just thinks I'm fucked up, and I am, but so are they.


ps. it's just silly that they were both trying to talk to me at the same time, and then now what? boys and their stupid competitiveness.

I just want you to give us a chance.

Done being a good friend to you. Sorry. Not really.

It takes nothing to call someone else crazy. But it takes everything to accept those words from yourself.

I am just trying to be a good friend to him. Despite how he was never there for me when we ended it. I'm just trying to be a good person. It's okay though. Not very many people are as understanding as I am. With his situation and all. I mean, I've been there. And he actually seems to be enjoying it as much as I did. But his friends...I'm sure it's pretty safe to say he hasn't told most of them, or really any of them. Maybe Ben. I'm sure his brother hasn't even called. It would ruin a good number of them to know. They all look up to him. They always have. Because he's big and strong and confident. And little did they know, he looks up to one of the tiniest, most frail people he knows. Me.

If I ever get married, I want to have as much fun with my husband as this woman does.

Glad I wasn't the only person who noticed how miserable you were. But you'll be out of this mess soon enough. Get better soon, and I will call you in the morning. Love, me.

Let's join forces. We've got our guns and horses.



And I love the zombie marching band.