One time I got a fortune cookie that said, "The road to success is a lonely one." I guess this is it.

Finally waking up at a decent time and wanting to get out of bed, to get out of house, and once finally out of bed, something always has to try to get me back in. And I'm in. Defeated.

My heart is in Virginia, it always been.

And so I ran to my kitchen window, crying your name. Calling out to you, as if you'd hear me. But you never came.

And maybe I suffered so much so that one day you could learn to let someone love you like I did, or like I tried.

Because when you sleep in the same bed with someone for so long, you never think that one day you'll wake up, and his hands are around your throat, squeezing your life out. All I have to live with now are the memories.

You tell me you can't always get what you want, but tell me what it is that I DO have?

My fed up family, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, my drug abuse, fear, guilt, an ounce of what's left of my motivation, the dust and debris of what I once was. Because I'm not depressed anymore, they stopped calling it that a long time ago, I'm a fucking trauma victim now. Haha. Haven't once been to war or killed a man, but that doesn't stop the PTSD. The only way to stop it is to overcome the thoughts. But it's already so difficult when I have already so much on my plate. Because my whole life all I wanted to do was make my mother happy, let her be proud of me when I showed her my diploma. But instead all I've gotten out of it were two rapes, drug abuse, a shit ton of debt, and a bunch of court hearings to see my exboyfriend who almost killed me. Remembering him on top of me with his hands around my neck, what it was like when he kissed me, and how he made me feel when he told me he loved me. This, my friends, is all mine.

We used to have a lot of fun together.

Being too afraid to sleep with the lights on because I know all I will see is you.

My ex is from Austin, Texas. Gaby's new man is from Austin, Texas. My previous ex is currently in Austin, Texas. And yet, all I can think about are all the grimey shit that goes on down there. And we all thought Virginia was bad. At least we only smoked pot for the most part. So glad I never grew up in Texas.

"Don't let him get the best of you. Don't let him win."

It feels as if we never met and that I'm okay with it. Like you're just somebody else I never knew.

Yeah, sometimes I miss you. But what you made it become is just not worth throwing my life away for you.

I just want my normal life back again. None of this constantly looking over my shoulder business.

Yeah, sometimes I miss you. But what you made it become is just not worth throwing my life away for you.

Took off my flannel today in class and one of my classmates yells out, "Sarah! Did you lose weight?!" I sharply replied with, "Yes, I just got out of one of the worst relationships of my life. I lost weight," in my head. But actually tell her, "Uhh yeah, but not on purpose." Nobody told me I looked like a skeleton until I went into the H&M fitting room to try on clothes and I saw it for myself. To letting things you shouldn't get the best of you.

I heard you calling my name outside my window, most likely drunk. I know it was you. I hated it because I wanted so badly to yell back, "____?" but my voice was caught deep down in my throat. And after it all, there was still nothing I could do.

"This is cool..she was short, and kinda crazy." -Bobby describing the Owner of the Mystery House in San Jose, CA.

What if the most important thing for me to do [show them] is to submit.

The first thing when I wake up and the last before I go to bed are still the hardest. Yet it's only been a week. During those times he's all I see, but it's getting easier.

Since the other day, I noticed Tinkerbell will no longer let me out of her sight. She kisses my bruises and scratches before bed and in the morning whem we wake. She kisses my pain away. She knows. It's as if she feels guilty for not being there to protect me when it happened. But if anything, I'm glad she wasn't because then she probably wouldn't be here with me right now.

I just don't want to almost get arrested, if we start talking again.. :\

Maybe I can't really listen to The Beatles anymore. And maybe I will always hear "Hey Joe" wrong. But we were never supposed to be, it was just all too easy.

When you bought us ice-cream in the park and said, "It looked good in Spider-Man."

To having nowhere else to walk to in the middle of night except straight to the bars.

You know, seeing as I survived my second abusive relationship. I feel fine.