Cool, I'm currently susceptible to irritability and insomnia. Cool. I would just like to sleep until December 20th when I wake up at home. I just want my body to be normal again. Normal for me at least, ie. 10 lbs lighter, leaner, toned.

Current resolution for the New Year: Normalcy.

I've had fun this semester, but never again. Not this hard.

Lauren made us write letters to ourselves at the beginning of the semester, and we just got them back. They're funny. Maybe I'll write about it next time.

ps. I feel like I just broke up with him. Oh wait..

I miss your brown eyes.

Taylor Swift, please stop writing about my life in your songs. Ugh. Kill me, please.

So confused about everything. I just want to go home. I want to be comfortable. I want to clear my head. I just want to be me. But I'm only me when I'm with you.

My mom will be happy to see that my hair is now black and I am about 7 lbs heavier. fml. lolz.

This is one of my favorite Avenged Sevenfold songs. And if I remember correctly, one of yours too.

I really want to do this. Like really really. Sigh.

I need to start being more honest with the people in my life that aren't my sister and Jess. And my mom.

I really wish you wouldn't think I was stupid. I just really think you're desperate. It's sad. But its your fault. So I'm not mad. Call me when you stop being a faggot.

So much to do, so little time.

-Laundry (including bed sheets)

-Write draft and final of Transcommodities paper

-Get back on track with derivatives before test on friday

-Clean room (I absolutely hate feeling like I live out of my bedroom)

-Get hair cut + dyed

-Buy more shampoo and conditioner

-Not have pneumonia anymore

This is all I can think of right now. And most of which I have to do within the next 2 weeks. And it stresses me out just thinking about it.

One last final word of advice: Ex's. Ruin. Everything.

Top--winter hair color? Bottom--summer? lolz. I feel like poop, and I think that my pneumonia should go away. Who the hell gets pneumonia is San Diego? And how?

Maybe I need sleeping pills again or something.

You are not my boyfriend, and I am okay with that.

This mistake won't be the end of us,
Stare into nothing, we are alive.

Don't watch me when I sleep. I hate it. There's only one person allowed to watch me in my sleep, and he is no longer in my life. So don't.

I just wish he were more like you.

I feel like I should be on Daytime TV hosting a show about moral support for young girls who have recently broken up with their long term boyfriend's for school/distance reasons.

If you were to ask me what I've been up to recently, to ask me how my life has been, you probably wouldn't believe me when I told you.

I never want to have to support my entire family. Seeing what my mother went through, I still don't know how she did it. But I never will.

Back to reality, wanting nothing more to clear my head for at least a few more minutes.

I hate waking up alone.

Sufjan Stevens is from Petosky too.

I like you because even though we've only known each other for a month, it's almost as if we've known each other for years. It's almost as if we were together for 2 1/2 years and we've known each other for a long time, we're just, not together anymore. I like you because I'm comfortable around you.

When I'm with you, I feel like I'm the girl I'm supposed to be.

Nowadays, I can only wonder what I did the night before and hope it was nothing illegal. Or well, too serious, at least.

Remember how over the summer, we'd wait until after my mother left for work, and about around this time, I would wake up, and see you lying next to me?

I don't want to say that I want you back, because I know you don't and look how far I've gone without you. But maybe one day. For now I'm just nostalgic. That's really all I can be, right now.