I need a bearded man to shower me with gifts and jack daniels in my life. Santa please!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I've always wanted to be in a western film. I think I'd like to produce my short over the summer. But we'll see. I am also very interested in seeing this movie.

"This heroine has got me by the soul. It's taken me to places Jesus wouldn't dare to go."

Sometimes I forget that Moose isn't around anymore. I miss him so much.

I'm in a really dark place right now, and believe me, I don't like it that you lighten it up.

My friend wants to help me draw up a tribute tattoo for Moose. I've got the idea of it and such, I just need the talent, and that's where Peter comes in. This could most likely be the most helpful thing next to actually being there for someone. And I've known this kid for about 2 months maybe. It's reassuring to know I'm not making anymore shitty friends.

Also, eventually I will get a bunch of cats and name them after beer. Like Yuengling, Stella, and Pabst.

All I wanted to do was to not be alone. Everyone will tell you that they're so damn sorry, but they're clearly not sorry enough to be there for you when you need them the most.

RIP Moose, My Little Man.
5/15/02-11/24/10

You were the best dog I could have ever asked for. My original partner in crime. I know you knew how much I loved you, and you loved me back unconditionally. Thank you. You were always the brightest star in my sky. I'm sorry I couldn't be there when times got tough, I hope you know I wanted to be. I never wanted it to end up this way, I'm sorry. I wish you could've seen what I have here now, you would love it, especially in LA. Please, be good in Heaven. No picking fights with the big dogs, or begging Lola to drop a slice of bread for you on the ground. Soak up some sun for me. I love you.

Bringing back the Western is a good choice.

My life feels like it's turning into one giant bad decision.

I really don't enjoy drinking. I like beer. And the like, until it turns good people into people I've never known before. I hate my life.

Man, my biggest challenge this week has been getting out of bed.

This video is the shit.

Have I really gotten to the point in my life where I meet the perfect man in my dreams that I feel the need to find him in real life. I had ever felt so certain he was real. He completed me. I know I don't need this, but I want it. I'm feeling too much like Bonnie without Clyde. It's just wrong. Bonnie never would have made it on her own. Hell, she didn't make it period. But when she was living it, she was having a blast. And right now, that's what I want. I need to have the time of my life, so I can go out with a bang.

I'd like to write a story about a man who becomes obsessed with a girl from his dreams. Everything she does, everyway she makes him feels. He grows obsessed with her, and goes on the look-out for just her. But..what next?

I forgot how to sleep.

I need to start working on my Halloween costume!

Today I had a conversation with one of the people I've known the longest, still talk to, and still pretty okay with.

And I was about to go on the whole spiel about how me having a crush and then some on my screenwriting professor was completely wrong/immoral/unhealthy/everything that catholic schools teaches you is bad. But it's not. I've been thinking a lot more than I do lately. Writing. Being able to be me. I can deny and deny, pretend it's not there, act like it shouldn't be happening, but it won't make it stop. I'm scared, but who isn't? All I know is that it's clear that he enjoys what I have to say, and is in a bad mood in class when I'm in a bad mood. Whatever that means.

Oh, and Mom is never going to be happy with anyone I date. Really though. But that's old news.

Ahah, my life is a joke.

I must admit, it's a lot harder to make friends here than it was at state, especially girlfriends. But I'm thankful for the 3 that I do have. Including my gay.

Don't think. Do. Do, and create.