Blue Valentine did nothing but reinstate my fears. I didn't cry, but perhaps in any other state. It was terribly realistic which I believe was the point, but it's difficult for movies to deal with abortions without it becoming a lifetime-style movie. Big sigh. He gave entirely too much of himself to her. And that was the worst part, I think, that in the end she still couldn't love him anymore. But I guess it's not really possible to keep track of how much love you'd give a person, especially one like her. If I ever fall in love again....

Sitting on my kitchen window sill, watching the cars and the passers-by. I've got a lot of soul searching to do.

I think that when I'm old, I'm just going to restore old muscle cars, trucks, and motorcycles.

Is it true that everything you touch turns to gold?

Is it stupid that I came crying to you because I didn't want to do anything for the wrong reasons? I think the stupidest part was that I came crying to you for that, and not the real reason which would be given the chance, I would do it all for you.

When the things that kept you going no longer keep you going. Looking for comfort in the new, but I know I shouldn't get too comfortable. Everyone keeps telling me that lately. Not to get too comfortable. I'm just not good enough.

If I were to ever record music, it would only be onto vinyls and it would only be pre-WWI blues, and early rock & roll/rhythm & blues from the 1950s-1960s. Way back when music was still good. Sigh.

Yes. And it's okay, Gaga, I ain't mad at you for copying my hair.

He would stay for a while, that was wish enough for a luckless, scarred bitch as she.

My horoscope keeps telling me that I will want you more and more as days go by. But I knew that already. If one day, you were ever mine...

I relapsed two nights ago. It's the burn that I'm after. Still trying to figure out this world. I'm not going to be anyone if I don't sleep with all the guys. Not even just guys. I'm so brainwashed, so jaded. It's everywhere I look, turned around, get drunk and find. I will never be more than an object to anyone, this is apparent. But this is also why I've stopped looking.

If you tell someone enough that they are what they are, whether they're a slut or a junkie or a nobody. It's comes true. I always just wanted to be a nice, reliable, independent girl who's determined and follows her dreams. But nobody else does. Nobody ever remembers a nice girl. Nice girls don't get anywhere. Nice girls don't even dream. Nice girls don't even finish.

I've seen a lot of bad people play good guys and in the end, win.

The stars spell out your name, like in a science-fiction drama.

When your not-so-recent stint with a tattoo artist results in them tattooing your face all over their other clients' bodies. I'm flattered, but god, you're stupid. Facebook is just full of trash.

When I go away for periods at a time, this is because I've had too much of what I want. You give me more than enough to be satisfied that it gets too difficult to stay away. And then I grow hungry for more.

Do people not understand that you can still be a really nice, sweet, generous person and still be a lying, cheating, backstabbing, home-wrecking, piece of shit? Come on. The fact that this is being questioned baffles me. It's just a matter of which one they do more often that determines whether or not they are a good person. I've done some really terrible things in my life, but I try to make up for it by never doing them again (or being aware of what I'm doing) and just trying to be kind to people and live my life. You give a little, you get a little. You know? Oh yeah, and having a strictly platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. That, my friends, is impossible. If you're straight, at least. A little different with bisexuals. Every best friend I have had at one point has fallen for me, taking a toll on our already crumbling friendship because I'm just "not into them that way." A boy makes friends with a pretty girl, it's not because she's nice, or because she's talented. Its because somewhere deep down in their stupid, stupid self, he wants to fuck her. You learn this shit in college, come on. And it's not only boys, but girls too. I wouldn't have ever started talking to Brady if I wasn't physically attracted to him. Strictly platonic relationships just don't last because one of the pair always ends up giving in. Exhale.

This is why we cannot "just be friends."

My motivation is wearing so thin.

I've been so depressed lately, it's stupid.

All the drugs, sex, and money in the world couldn't make me feel better. Been so mopey and bitchy, I just want my dog to be here with me already.

Maybe the reason why I hate all of your friends is because they're all terrible people who cheat, spread STDs, beat their significant others, knock em up and they're just rude. The funniest part was that for some reason I never once questioned why you were even friends with them. But it's quite obvious to me now. They're just like you. Trash.

Poured myself a cup of coffee, but I couldn't bring myself to drink.

I can't waste my time with guys who treat me like shit anymore.

Every conversation I had today went a little like, "Oh really, you had a bad day, Sarah? Why's that?..blahblah..blahblahblahblah" "Because I--" "HAHAHAHHA blahblahblahireallydontcare." From everyone. Don't talk to me, if you don't give a fuck about me. I would most definitely get along fine without any of you and your bullshit to deal with.