I think I should just about give up on talking to people about my future for the 4 years of my life. It seems like every time I get myself figured out and come up with a game plan, it all goes straight to hell. I never imagined myself to be so lost and so unsure about everything. Sometimes I blame you for making me come up with this ridiculous idea that well, I like animals, a lot, and since you have no future, well, I might as well try to support our family. But right after I pay all of my vet school bills. Maybe I should just go back home and study to be a vet tech. I'd be making good money for my age, and sort of doing something that I like doing. Perhaps I could always just go back to school afterwards. If I wanted to. I just feel like I wasn't ready for college. Not that soon after my entire world collapsing. Now? I'm fine now. I just fucked up so bad, it's like there's no way to fix it. Nobody gives a fuck about "how well" I did in high school, which was pretty damn good once you took a look at my class and predecessors.

I don't give a fuck about what anybody says. I didn't give up on school until I came to college. High school was a breeze.

One day, I will be traveling the world so much people will forget where I am.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if none of that ever happened. We'd probably be married by now. Or at least engaged. Unhappy, maybe. We probably wouldn't even see each other much. Or we would. I don't know. It all seems so long ago now.

There's this boy I met a really long time ago, when school was still in. He writes for the Koala. We haven't talked in forever, but the other day he left me a message. And I could've sworn it was you playing a joke on me. Not even really playing a joke on me, just telling me that your name was something else. I'm at the worst possible point in my life right now. I hope you realize why. This weekend all I want to do is forget and meet someone new.