Dog park, heels, boots, jeans, good hair, good make-up, american apparel factory outlet, oversize sweaters, nude leotards, from downtown to the valley. I'll been all over LA and back today. And the greatest thing was that I haven't worn a bra all day! Oh, and I finally got ice cream.

You know, thinking about it, It's been a while since I've...well, laughed really. Some of the girls at work will try to talk to me, and maybe that's why people gossip. But they'll try to talk to me, and they'll say something that they think is really funny, and I just kind of try to awkwardly fake my laugh or pretend I didn't hear them. It's just sort of impossible really. I mean, unless its scripted or from a movie or something. Sure, I'll get a chuckle or two in there. But it's more of a "HA" than anything else. A sound illustrating entertainment or being entertained. I couldn't bring myself to finish reading the JD Salinger pick because I couldn't help but feel sorry for him about how sad and pathetic and depressed he is. If you notice, I will pick out things in anything that remind me of myself, and I will hate them. It's always something that I've done, ever since I was little. Ever since I can remember really. But I saw too much of myself in him especially as of right now, in my current "state." It is a full moon after all. I'll try to keep reading, but it's so difficult because it's almost as if ever sentence he just talks about feeling so lousy and depressed, thinking back on his girl that he missed out on. I'm sure there's a real coming of age ending, but I don't know. I'll finish it though. Eventually.

Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.

Cool, I'm finally coming clean about how much I hate my life. And I hate it even more. Looks like it's the looney bin for me, kids! Or the zoo!

It's such a turn off when really beautiful, attractive people are douches. I know a man like that back home, but he's best friends with the devil or my savior, which ever you want to call it. They're a hot mess to say the least. And for that, I want them.



Praying for a productive day that includes tanning, running, and creating.

There is one more thing I hate more than liars, and that is a disloyal friend. You talk it up, hang out all the time, make it seem like you guys are best friends. And as soon as one little thing happens that doesn't affect your relationship with them at all, you bail. What the fuck. Seriously.

I don't understand. What the fuck did I do to deserve something like this?

How terrifyingly accurate.


TAURUS



Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Venus
Symbol: The Bull
Your stone: Emerald
Life Pursuit: Emotional and financial security
Vibration: Determined energy
Taurus Secret Desire: To have a secure, happy and wealthy life/marriage.


Description:
Underneath their cool, calm and collected exterior, Taureans differ greatly from all the other signs of the zodiac. Taureans manage to discreetly stay apart from the crowd, even though they have a well-earned reputation for being socialisers. They will let others get close, but only so close as they want them. Some claim that trying to get your point across to a Taurean, should they not want to hear you, is rather similar to talking to the trees – they simply won't budge. And, there is no such thing as an open-book Taurean. Their feelings, fears and desires often run far deeper than anyone around them would guess. Like the butterfly that chooses to remain hidden in its cocoon until it is ready and prepared to emerge, so the true Taurean spirit remains hidden behind a veneer of day-to-day activities. That's why Taureans are sometimes regarded as snobby, withdrawn, boring, or even sulky.

The truth is, when Taureans manage to operate very adequately on their own form of automatic pilot, they can switch off from the world around them very efficiently. And when they do switch off, they are actually gathering in their inner reserves to deal with the outside pressures. This sign is also very closely connected to 'feeling good'. Most Taureans like their creature comforts and hate change because it takes them out of their automatic pilot condition of separating themselves from the world around them.

Because they hate to be put in jeopardy of any kind, this is the sign that strives to create tomorrow in advance, rather than leave it to fate. In love, Taureans are regarded as extremely sensual beings. An earth sign, they deal well with the personal, physical senses and consequently all the pleasures associated with what they can see, touch, smell and taste, add up to a special delight to them. Often nature and pet lovers, Taureans are closely associated with all things off the earth and nature

I want to go back to Nova. To see my dog, my family and my friends. To feel humidity like I've never felt it before. Then how come whenever I get half way there I get second thoughts, cold feet, and try to convince myself that I don't need to see any of those people. There is no life that I hate more (and I hate a lot of people) than my own.

All I want is to see my puppy.

My biggest addiction so far is for getting some more ink done. I'd forego any cigarette, drink, coffee, clothes, shoes, hair extensions, hair cut, hair color, food for another. Which I am currently doing. I'm dying. I want to rip my insides out, scream, and kill a baby. I've never felt this awful and anxious in my entire life.

"Man is the cruelest animal."

-Frederich Nietzsche

I want, I want my octopus tattoo.

If all people had a moral sense of the impoverished, there'd be no such thing as republicans. Just saying.

I miss my really long, beautiful, thick, red hair. Sigh. Too bad it was such a pain in the ass. Oh well.

Little boy.

I hate how when you call, you always speak to me like we haven't spoken in months when really it's only been maybe two days. It's almost as if in those two days that we don't speak, you expect me to have changed. But then it doesn't make sense because every time I'm home, you tell me that it's as if I never left.

Speaking of waiting, death couldn't tear us apart. I mean, I'd call this a curse. Wouldn't you?