I missed a lot of really amazing opportunities last year because I was fucking around. Not this year. I just pray that I am once again blessed with those opportunities but with a stronger head on my shoulders.

First day back in therapy on Thursday and my therapist asks me if there's any help I can get for my RO, telling me, "surely, you can't have your rights taken away like that." I replied to her with, "surely, they denied me any rights at all when the police decided to file Joel's false accusation without further questioning."

It was a good meeting though.

I guess what baffles me about the whole situation is that I'm realizing that I've messed up, but still she gets so much support for constantly messing up her life. And I can't be apart of that. I'm trying to make it through life too, I can't be there dragging a grown adult through it as well. Wreaking havoc whenever she pleases just because she can. I can't be a baby sitter anymore. I've said my apologies. I just want to know why that if we're BOTH so depressed, why anyone thought this was a good idea to begin with? When times get tough, you see the true side of others. I may have a million and one family members, but they will have always alienated me my entire life because I was different. So alienate me some more because I'm doing what's right for me. I'm growing up and doing my time and that's all that matters.

It's hard to tell if I'm going crazy or if it's just the TL. But it's probably both.

Bettie Page was diagnosed with schizophrenia and placed in a state mental institution for 11 years because she stabbed three people and claimed afterwards that God had told her to stab them.