I wish I would stop waking up like this. It makes me not want to wake up at all. It's unbearable. I don't know what I need. I don't care what I need or want. I don't want anything. Why is this happening?

"A beretta's not some old tampon. You don't just forget it's in your purse." -Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy

So tired of feeling this way. Anxious, neurotic, lonely, tired, apathetic. I just cleaned the shit out of my room because I didn't know what to do with myself. Also looked for an old truck to trade my matrix for. Sigh. Everyone here is crazy. Maybe I should look into MUD. At least I would be with the warm weather and such. Sigh again. I'm just looking for a familiar face? I don't know. Last sigh. Uncertainty.