Can people just let me be skinny and leave me alone? Ever think that maybe I feel good the way I am? I'm eating. It's fine.

But apologize often. I need to stop utilizing this for madness.

If only self-medicating never lead to substance abuse.

My family always puts me last on the list of importance for anything. Hence why all my psychological problems manifested into..this.

I can't help but hate you both for how I've become because you still haven't taken responsibility for how fucked up it was to have a child after neither of you gave anymore fucks. Every ounce of trouble I got myself into growing up was because I didn't know better, and nobody told me otherwise growing up. I didn't know what right from wrong was. So every couple years I find out something new, something bad that has happened in my life, that I should've said "no" to, but I didn't have any guidance or anyone to tell me these things were wrong.

I have always been treated differently because I was too white or because I was too Filipino.

And that's why my father wonders why I never call. And my mother wonders why I never pick up. Because both of you created this monster, and it's just, "well, what can you do now?" You all think I can deal with it on my own, but I can't. I've tried for so long, and I'm tired.

So let's all just give our problems to God, drink and smoke ourselves into oblivion and just fucking forget about all the mistakes we made in life because we can't do anything about them now.