This feels like waking up Saturday mornings, smoking a bowl, and waiting for you to come home from class and love me. You always did. This feels like freedom. Maybe we won't go back. Maybe we'll just keep going. I've got nothing left to lose.

I'd really like to go home, but I don't know where that is.

I cry because I have so much to tell the world, but nobody else ever wants to listen. It's only ever just a few people, but I'm grateful for them because I want them to be able to spread the word as well. But it will never spread because people are afraid to be happy, to fight for what they believe in. This just reminds me of history as I partake in these online classes for school. People of ancient civilizations developed religion and culture to appease their soul and their sanity because they knew they couldn't control the world and the forces around them. It ultimately was to satisfy their souls and keep them content in life. But tell me this, when did religion grow so hateful and exclusive? It was never meant to be that way.

I just can't help but believe I was put on this earth for something so much bigger and better for me, but I know I need to build myself up (in more ways than one; not only mentally, emotionally, physically but also build myself a giant, infamous career) so that others will listen too. I need to make myself larger than life for others to listen, it's just taking a while because we can't all be Lady Gaga's but there's no harm in trying.