It's always nice to know that there are people in existence that are able to give me butterflies.

You give yourself WAY too much credit. :P

I've been working out way more than I ever have in my entire life. Even when I was playing sports, I did not run and train and climb as much as I do now. And I love it. But I'm starting to obsess over it. You don't want to see me when I have to miss a day at the gym. And I rarely miss a day. Even when I'm sick. Damn. This new me is kinda bomb. One side of me that I don't mind.

duckie go down the hole. yes, she does.

Some things will never change.



"Brother" by Murder By Death

That boy is a monster.


"Monster" by Lady Gaga

One day, again. Hopefully sooner than later. <3

Every time I tell myself I'm not going to care about my weight, what I eat, and what I look like, I look in the mirror and decide that I should. My body is not meant to be fat. I hate when I can tell even the slightest millimeter gained on my arms. So I'm going to the gym starting this week not only on my regular days, but on the weekends too. FTW.

Also, my horoscope for today says,

"Health needs care. All commitments and financial transactions need to be handled carefully. Health of an elderly person causes some worry. Interference of others will cause frictions. Don't take your partners for granted. If travelling make sure you carry all-important documents."

And therefore, I know what I'm doing this weekend and what I'm not.

Back home it's 5 o'clock on a monday morning, and I still hate this song as much as I did when I first heard it. I don't know why. It just makes me want to vomit. I like the lyrics, I always have. But I don't know. I just always hated it. Makes me sick.


And I think of you on cold winter mornings
Darling they remind me of when we were at school
Nothing really mattered when you called out my name
In fact, nothing really mattered at all

It's funny because even though she's gone, she's more alive than I will ever be.

She taught me how to live, laugh, and love. Despite popular belief, she was, I think, the epitome of the Bohemian way encompassing aspects of freedom, truth, beauty, and love. The only things important in life. And she gave a damn about her family like no one else ever dared.


Rest in Peace, my lovely, beautiful, Lola.

Forever in our hearts.

I hate when people deem a couple "so in love" just because they're always together. I love when you can really see it. Makes not ever care about being in love.

You're my Sid Vicious. You kill me every time.

There's a scene in Sid & Nancy where they speak of how they wanted to take their lives together because they knew they wouldn't be able to live without one another.

I still remember every conversation we ever had, believe it or not. I miss you, Sid. Can't help it. Always will. Maybe until I get some closure.

No one ever told me that I couldn't do something, except for you. And I'm glad you did.

Still sick. But it would be nice if I could remember lyrics every once in a while.

Overdone, but I did it. Don't judge my guitar playing skills please. I recorded this when I was sick. So don' judge me.

A little something I've working on.

freedom, beauty, truth, & love

quoi qu'il advienne-- come what may

I am Maria Elena. You were Juan Antonio. And I suppose you still are, somewhere deep down, just with a lot less passion in your life. It's sad. Especially since you think you are living.

Going to Spain to find my true love, good-bye.

I love this poem.



Cross by Langston Hughes

My old man's a white old man
And my old mother's black.
If ever I cursed my white old man
I take my curses back.
If ever I cursed my black old mother
And wished she were in hell,
I'm sorry for that evil wish
And now I wish her well
My old man died in a fine big house.
My ma died in a shack.
I wonder were I'm going to die,
Being neither white nor black?