Been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I think this may be it.

I hate everything

I'm one of those people who looks like they always have something to be happy about. I'm always smiling. And I'm always laughing. Even when I cry.

This one's called "We're Just Like You."

I need to find another way to channel my anger other than through writing on here and feeding myself poison.

Think I might just hide out in my room until 4AM Thursday.

I never met a man who knew the proper definitions of trust, honesty, and loyalty.

Man, all you guys are fuckin' idiots. Go suck each others dicks.


No, no. All you people. I'd more specifically like to take you sailing in the middle of the ocean, duct tape you to an anchor, and throw you overboard. Rot, fuckhead.

I am indifferent.

I might pretend that last post or thoughts did not happen. I'm scared, if you don't know it. I am. More afraid than you could ever imagine. But willing to consider it because it's you. I hate to say this, and maybe I'm wrong, but you know, I don't think these things would happen if you just let me in.

Why did that happen last night? I suppose it could've been worse, I could've said what I wanted to say just because it felt right, those words I've been dreading to say ever again, but I didn't. There's no use. Sobriety has helped me bite my tongue more often as of late. But thank you half damaged brain for starting this in the first place. I hate excuses. Almost as much as I hate lies. Funny how I hate words more than people. Whatever happened to sticks and stones? Yes, sticks and stones, you've done me good all my twenty years. It's just something about saying words you don't mean and making shit up that bothers me. What's also funny is how I don't think you're lying, I just don't know what to think. Oh well.

Not sure why this hasn't made its way to these pages til now. The song is about "taking a journey to win back the one you love." Quite the number, I think.

Heading back to that colder weather soon.

I'm not sure what you want me to say to you. I can't help how I feel, or how you make me feel. Do you want this just as much as I do? Give me a sign, give me anything. I'm yours.

La loup-garou n'a pas le choix.

My blog has grown increasingly confusing. Apologies. How 'bout a pic?

To any other girl, one would probably think you were ignoring/avoiding her. Guess the longer I am here, the more I grow closer to "any other girl."

How did you get in my head?

This is me letting you go. This is me letting you be "the one that got away." I was stupid to think that this time it would be different.

Men will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Hm, I always get this funny feeling afterwards that everything is going to be okay.

Meh, Keith Urban still sucks. Hah.

This is what full-moons do to people like us.

And I'm not gonna lie, but tonight was fucking magical. I can't stop laughing. It really was. It was nice. I almost wish tonight was my last night in Virginia because I've got a feeling it's not going to get any better than this. Hope is not lost for me, folks, not all men make me cringe and cower. Yeah, I might fall asleep with a big stupid smile on my face, but I deserve it. I've been clean from hard drugs for about 4 months now with the occasional joint every now and then, as in every couple weeks. I don't even really drink that much anymore either. Even cut down how many cigarettes I smoke a day. You ought to be proud. I know I am, and I didn't do this for anyone, but myself. Promise. So fuck y'all, I deserve this. And if you think I'm a loser for being happy, then that's fine. I'm leaving anyway. Thanks for the dinner, the brews, teaching me about stars and what to do if I get lost tomorrow, and the rest of it. Good night.

ps. was there really a shooting star? I think that's what was killing me the most. Hah, oh lord.