An email from you to me, about 2 weeks before you left me.
I hate this so much because I try to just act like i dont care about anything so that maybe i wont. youre AMAZING and its bullshit because i know that i wont ever find anyone like you. i feel like such crap without you. i hate myself so much for being mean to you. i just dont know where this is going i dont know if we're going to make it or not and i try to convince myself that it wont, because then you'll be free from all of my bullshit. when i think about us, memories flash through my mind like pictures through a slideshow, and i honestly dont know what i am without you. I know that whatever i would be, it would be less than half of what i am with you. I am terribly in love with you and the idea that we might not work kills me. it drives me to a breaking point where i just dont know what to do or say. i hate myself for everything bad thats ever come from this relationship, but i love you for everything good thats come of it. i hope this works out for whatever's best. i can only hope and wait. i love you.
-Pablo A. Enriquez
But, alas, I know that this must be the way it is. And so it is. I have hope though that one day you might find your way back to me. And things will be just like they were the first day of our lives together. As for now, I suppose time really just isn't on our side. Or a few of your friends. But please know that I love you, and I will always love you. Just be safe, and I pray to God, that you will never forget me, because I will never forget you.
But I also do believe you because I know I don't need anyone but myself to keep me happy. So if I can do it, why can't you?
ReplyDeleteI feel much more comfortable single. It's strange. No more toning down my actions or the way I dressed or the things I said. The people that are with me now have stuck with me because they love the way I am. Not the boring, muted version of me. I need to be who I'm supposed to be. And so do you.