You know what I realized today? I always did so well in high school, and was so strong, (mind you this was before the big spanish baby ruined everything) because I never let idiots and obstacles get in my way. I knew what I wanted, and that was to finish high school, and get the hell out of Virginia. Then when I met Pablo, he broke down a lot of my walls, burnt all those bridges that I tried so hard to build up. But I've done it before, built those walls, and those bridges, so it should be easier this time. And everyday I'm learning that it is. San Francisco is just another place I cannot stand to be in, and now I just need to work as hard as I did in high school to get that ticket out of here. I never needed a boyfriend or anything like that to live my life. As most of my childhood was spent alone. But I grew up to be one of the most determined and motivated people I know. Anyone will tell you that, even Pablo. Having a boyfriend just made me forget what I was made of. I don't need these distractions. I don't need to hide behind a Man who will just try to push me away because he isn't as smart as I am or talented. Because they always try. They always will. I'm the kind of girl most men cannot handle. Not even just men, my mother can barely handle me. But I love her to death for trying. Same with my sister. Hah, and no shrink helped me come to this conclusion either. No drugs. No pills. No friends. Just me. Looks like I'm well on my way back to my old self. Well, not my old self, just the new, improved, stronger, and more unstoppable self. (Doesn't that sound terrifying? It's like the Terminator. But anyway.) The real Sarah.


ps. I'm not mad about having to go back to Virginia for all of summer, because I know it's not permanent. That place just isn't for me anymore. I just need to make the best of it while I'm there, which should be easy because it's summer vacation! However, one day, I will find my way down south again. And it'll probably be way down south in the middle of nowhere. Just don't know when that will be. Perhaps when I'm ready to settle down. But that won't be anytime soon.