I want that you are always happy. I want that you are always safe. I want that you are always doing what you love. I want that you are always loving who you are meant to love, safe and warm. Somewhere with someone you can call home. I want that one day you have your beautiful red-headed, freckled children. I want that you get to see your 30th birthday, and your 40th, and 50th, 60th, and every single one thereafter. I want that one day you can see me for who and what I actually am. I want that one day we will see eye to eye. That we both won't be so broken and sad and hurting each other. I want that one day we can work together again, coexist again, and love again. Not the same way we did before, but better. Where each day with you is better than the last. I want that one day we won't need any drugs or alcohol, but only each other. Just us. Nobody else.

 I'm difficult right now, but I promise that I'm worth it.