Crossing my fingers at everything working out this last week before I leave. By far the most chill day I have had a work in a long time. Diana never fails to keep me smiling, even when I'm sad. She's probably one of the most real people I have ever met in my life. Maybe one of the only, but mostly people she's real the entire time. Don't get me wrong, I've met some real people in my life. But it was like, with them, as soon as something came up, they were gone or completely, you know, un-real. In a bad way. The new kid at work is pretty real too, but I guess more real in a "chill, no b.s." sort of way.

It usually days like these, that start off really bad, and then end up going well, that I realize that things are going to be okay. The other day my horoscope told me to stop looking for love. I've been pondering that all weekend. Especially since meeting you-know-who. I think I tried to because I remembered how happy I used to be when Pablo and I were okay, content, happy? Just not arguing or sad. That's when I was my happiest because I knew nothing ever mattered, and I never had a care in the world. Or at least, I felt like it. It just really fuckin' sucks. And I hate to say it, but these past few episodes of True Blood have not only taken my mind away from the world, but also brought me back to where I currently am. Especially in this last episode, where Bill starts to notice the little things telling him that he's slowly starting to lose Sookie. I feel like I always sort of had that with Pablo, but maybe he'd always done the same as well. I was always scared that I was going to lose him, because I knew that so much of a good thing couldn't possibly last forever. It just wasn't really until this last time where I realized I was actually losing him. I think I knew it, but I was just in denial. Maybe I was just blind. But love makes you do stupid things.

And for that, I hate it. But I crave it.