Sometimes I get the greatest urge to call you and tell you about my day. But then I remember that you probably don't care. Like now, I was remembering how I used to get so mad at you for messing up my bed sheets. I was just thinking that you should take a look at them now.  Today was bad and good in many ways. It's so hard for you to look me in the eyes now. I don't know why, but you almost never will, and when you catch yourself doing it, you turn away. It's just hard to say goodbye, you know? I'm so scared of losing you in my life. I hate thinking how this is the "last" time. Why do you think I was always so sad when it was time for me to leave your house or when you dropped me off at home? I hate myself for falling in love with you every day. 

I made plans for the weekend hoping that maybe you might want to come with me. But I know you won't. I still have hope, even though I know that I shouldn't. Today you held me and told me that everything was going to be okay. I started crying some more because I knew you were right, and that everything would be okay. 

"We've got love and hate, it's the only way."